The morning is for joy
Interruptions, inconsistencies, and a brief reminder about the thing that is waiting for you before you open your eyes.
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.
-Psalm 5:3
For years, I benefited from long stretches of time in the morning where I would pray and read Scripture. Since I was about 20, I have been “a morning person.” My best work is done in the morning and my attention is easier to focus on the things of God.
And then I had children.
Since October of 2019, when we welcomed Jude into our lives, my mornings have changed. I still wake up early. Most days it’s 5am in order to beat Jude to the punch (he’s often up around 6am), and some days it just doesn’t happen and we wake up at the same time.
For the past five or so years, I’ve had some very consistent times in the morning for prayer and Scripture reading, and I’ve been very inconsistent at other times. I’ve wrestled with this. There are many days where I wake up early and one of my kids decides to wake up at a similar hour. How can anyone have a solid morning routine during certain seasons of life?
Something changed two years ago, when I was confessing this to God in prayer and wondering how I could maintain faith with such a bizarre schedule. I was led to this Psalm:
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.
-Psalm 143:8
This Psalmist did not entrust God’s life to his own on his schedule, but rather woke up entrusting his life to God’s. His life was God’s. He desired each morning to bring him that “word” of good news: this life is not mine and this day is already saturated with One Holy Spirit.
I considered the strange effects of an inconsistent morning routine and a lack of time. For a while, I felt guilt and shame about not engaging in the morning with God, about the way my sleep habits and children’s sleep habits were working. But reading the Psalms daily (a practice I have done for nearly 20 years), you start to see why they waited on God at all hours of the day.
The Psalmists did not wait on God out of duty; the Psalmists waited on God out of desperation and desire—they needed God and they wanted God. As I was praying about this, I sensed the Spirit reminding me of what was actually at stake in daily Bible reading and prayer: it wasn’t salvation and it wasn’t God’s love for me that I was missing out on (these are offered to us out of grace), it was joy.
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
-Psalm 90:14
The Lord offers us the joyful experience of his steadfast love each morning. It’s all joy that is waiting for us. What we miss when we miss a time of devotion in the morning is not his love, but the experience of his love. God doesn’t not love you more or less because of your devotional habits. But how will you know God loves you? How will you experience the joy of his love? Only when we set our minds on it.
The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.-Psalm 145:18-19
What do I receive when I step into prayer at 5am? Joy. What do I miss when I sleep in? Just the joy of God’s presence. This may sound extreme, but it is actually comforting: nothing about God and his love for us changes based on our obedience. He remains steadfast and faithful, kind and loving. And we will actually receive his joy in all kinds of other ways throughout the day. But one thing I know: joy waits for us in the morning.
Why?
Well, when we sleep, our minds are at rest with our bodies. Sleep is to disengage with the world. I think one reason Christians have always woken up early for prayer is to engage our minds with the startling reality that God has been working while we have been sleeping (Psalm 121:4).
I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
- Psalm 3:5
The reason we woke up is because God has not slumbered.
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
- Psalm 4:8
The days are longer now. Yesterday, I walked out on my back deck at 5am as the sun rose. I opened my Bible, I said my prayers, I sat in the silence with the birds. There was no great revelation, no massive change, but the grace that is knowing Christ is within me through the power of the Holy Spirit. There was joy.
Today, I slept through my alarm to find my wife was already off to work at 6am. As I walked downstairs to make my coffee, I grabbed my Bible to steal 15 minutes or so of joy with God before Jude would wake up. As I made my way for my spot outside, before I could even open my Bible, I heard my son, and a different joy appeared—the joy of being with him.
There’s a fullness of joy available for those in Christ, who are not beholden to religious observances in order to manufacture love from God. Love from God is there, present, available. It’ll be there tomorrow. And it’ll be present today, I thought, as I walked upstairs to greet my boy, who had just opened his eyes.
Man, so real. So good. Thank you for sharing this vulnerably as I can relate immensely.